Nothing Fits in My Postpartum Season

Ever find yourself in your closet trying to get ready for an event and feel like none of your clothes fit anymore and you declare that you just can't go? I have. I've found myself feeling that same sense of nothing fitting within my postpartum season. You've had a baby and life doesn't fit the same way anymore.

When clothes don't fit postpartum

Most commonly, the first thing you'll notice is that your clothes don't fit right anymore. Suddenly nothing in your closet fits and you decide you just won't do the things. The maternity clothes are suddenly a little too baggy, but your pre-pregnancy clothes are still too snug.

This creates a sense of unease because we don't want to have to fuss about something so small yet there it is. This sense of unease can travel to other things in your new life that don't fit either.

Feeling like a social misfit

You might be the first person in your friend group to have a child and suddenly you can't relate to your friends as well. They might be staying up at night to hangout while you're at home staying up to all hours because you've got a newborn that needs changing or feeding.

Or maybe you're one of the late bloomers and suddenly you have a newborn while your friends have older kids. While you'll be able to relate some because they once went through the season you are, they are no longer there and are onto a different season of parenthood.That sense of unease no longer just resides in your closet but now it wraps around your relationships with your friends.

Losing a sense of self postpartum

You may feel like you've lost a sense of community or lost your footing in society. It feels like moms are often looked down on whether they stay home with their kids or go back to work. I've seen it said that society expects a mom to do all the things that a stay-at-home mom does while still working outside the home.

So you feel damned if you do or damned if you don't. So now you've got this creeping sense of unease that has tendrilled in around you based on societal expectations.

Big feelings that don't fit, either

That sense of unease can very easily creep its way into our very core and suddenly we're experiencing emotions that we have no control over or any real sense of what they even are. The big, big emotions just don't want to fit into our brains.

You might find yourself feeling sad, frustrated, disappointed, enraged, or apathetic on a much bigger scale than you once did. Things may feel too heavy or too overwhelming now when once upon a time you felt like you could handle it. Postpartum depression is a huge factor to feeling like you don’t fit in anymore and could definitely be something that you or someone you love might be dealing with.

Postpartum depression often makes my feelings less controllable, and they'll leak out of any crack in my surface they can find. My big, big feels no longer fit inside the controlled environment I once had them in.

From clothes to emotions: postpartum depression doesn't fit

But that's okay. You’re okay. We're both okay. It's okay for our emotions to no longer fit inside of us, just like our clothes might not fit the outside of us, either. Life has changed drastically. And it's going to continue to change.

Just know that you're not alone, that you are loved as you are, and that help is out there. Please reach out to your loved ones and your doctor to ensure that you are taken care of for yourself and your family.