A PPD Self-Check-In for the Holiday Season
When was the last time anyone asked how you're doing?
Living with postpartum depression (PPD) often means you're running on empty. And around the holiday season, this can be especially true. Busy days of working, taking care of the family, and running all of those household operations can become even more overwhelming during the last few weeks of the year.
The following 5 questions are a check-in for you to reflect on your mental, emotional, and physical wellness. Are there any areas that require closer attention to yourself and your needs? Let this article be the "How are you doing — really?" that you need.
1. Where are my feelings living today?
Try thinking about your answer on a scale of 1 to 5, with 1 being "I feel mostly like myself, and most days I feel I'm well enough to both get things done and relax." On the opposite end of the scale, 5 is "I feel overwhelmed, irritable, sad, or numb more often than not."
Don't feel the need to sugarcoat how you're feeling when you check in with yourself; you don't have to edit your feelings for the comfort of others in this check-in. Be gentle with yourself as you sit with these feelings and know that you are not alone, and you are valid in your feelings of overwhelm or sadness.
2. Can I think of at least 1 time that I felt joy recently?
You don't have to have experienced the best day of your life, or even the fifth best day! If you can think of 1 moment in the last week where you found something funny, felt relief or gratitude for something that happened or something someone said, or felt peaceful or at rest, it counts. Call up that moment in your mind, and try to experience what you felt then.
If you can't think of at least 1 of these, you're not doing anything wrong. Talk to a supportive person in your life or a healthcare professional if you're concerned about your ability to experience positive emotions.
3. Who is there to support me right now?
If you run into any daily obstacles or a crisis big or small, who can you call? Baby won't stop crying, ran out of an essential household item, or just needing a listening ear? Try to think of at least 2 people who you feel safe and comfortable calling for immediate, practical help. This can be a partner, a friend, a doula, a family member, and anyone who is a safe and supportive person to lean on during difficult moments.
4. What is 1 thing I will say "No" to this week?
Do you feel empowered enough to say "No" to a request or expectation that will add unnecessary stress or take away from a small, essential moment of rest or self-care (like drinking water, taking a shower, or resting)? Exercise that "No." As part of normal everyday life, there will be things we simply can't refuse to do. But finding opportunities to set boundaries for our mental and physical health is just as important as the things we say "Yes" to.
5. Are the holidays causing my PPD symptoms to flare?
If you're feeling like you're in the pressure cooker instead of the holiday meal, it's a good time to slow down and identify what you need. Do you need someone to care for baby while you nap? Do you need to opt for pre-prepared foods instead of cooking from scratch this year? Do you need to minimize (or increase) the decorating? Don't be afraid to create new traditions that better suit your needs and your life in the present.
How else do you check in with yourself?
What are some other questions you ask when you're checking in on someone? Try asking yourself these questions. You may surprise yourself with the answers! Share with others in our community by leaving a comment below.