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The Impact of Postpartum Depression on a Couple's Relationship

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By Editorial Team

3 min read

Having a baby is a big event for couples, and it brings lots of happiness. But sometimes, it can also bring some challenges, like postpartum depression (PPD). PPD can change how a person feels after having a baby, and it can also affect their partner and relationship.1,2

How does PPD impact relationships?

It is common for a new baby to impact relationships. A baby introduces a big change, and it is normal for things to feel differently after the arrival of a baby. However, PPD can make this adjustment even more challenging.2,3

PPD is depression that happens after pregnancy or the birth of a child. It causes intense emotional effects that do not go away after a few weeks. PPD mostly impacts mothers but can also impact fathers and partners.2,3

Research shows that when one person has PPD, it is harder for both people to feel satisfied or supported in the relationship. This can be caused by many factors:1-4

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  • PPD can make it harder to be emotionally or physically intimate. Intimacy helps strengthen relationships. If intimacy is missing, one partner may feel neglected.
  • When people have PPD, they may not be able to communicate as well. They may be easily agitated or quick to anger. Or they may shut down and not talk. Communication is very important in relationships. If it breaks down, it is difficult to solve problems or make positive changes.
  • Some people with PPD may struggle to make healthy choices. For example, this might mean not eating enough or drinking too much. These behaviors can cause stress in a relationship.

How your relationship impacts PPD

The link between PPD and relationship satisfaction works both ways. Feeling supported in your relationship is one of the most important factors in preventing and managing PPD. Many parents feel lonely and unsupported after birth. These feelings can contribute to PPD.3,4

Loneliness within a relationship can have different causes. Some mothers feel they do not get enough help with the baby. This can lead to stress and sleep deprivation, which make PPD worse. In other cases, people may miss the way their relationship used to feel. They may not be used to the new dynamic and feel lonely in their new role.1,2,4

Tips for managing relationships with PPD

PPD can be very challenging. But it can also be managed and treated. One of the most important ways to work on your relationship is through communication. Some tips that may help you navigate communication with your partner include: 1,2,5

  • Talk to each other a lot, even if it does not seem important. Share how you feel and what you need.
  • Make sure your partner knows you care about them.
  • Use “I” when talking instead of “you.” “You” statements may come off as accusatory.
  • Remember to listen to your partner.
  • Be patient with each other, even if you are frustrated or mad.
  • Try to limit distractions, like TV or phones, during serious conversations.
  • If you feel especially angry or upset, wait to have serious conversations until you and your partner feel calm.

Other tips beyond communication include:2,3,5

  • Make sure you both take time for yourselves. Try to take time to exercise, eat well, and sleep.
  • Try to look at scenarios from your partner's point of view. Try not to get wrapped up in your view of a situation.
  • Try to make time for intimacy. This could even just be holding hands or cuddling.

PPD can be tough on couples, but you can get through it. PPD is a medical condition and not anyone's fault. With support and patience, you can make your relationship stronger and navigate this challenging time.