The Search for a Doctor for Postpartum Care
At the age of 16, I was diagnosed with mild to moderate depression. I remember the fear I had to speak up about how I'd been feeling.
On this day, my mother and I sat at the doctor's office and were filling out the new patient paperwork. Going through all the tic boxes my mom asked about the "thoughts of self-harm or suicide" one and I quietly told her to mark it. I didn't say anything else. My mom was surprised but did as I asked. I had finally reached the point where I realized my thoughts and feelings were not those of a normal 16-year-old.
Depression dismissed by my doctor
After high school I went untreated for several years due to money restraints and not having a primary care physician. The doctor that I did see at times when I was sick and over-the-counter medication didn't cut it never seemed that interested in listening to me about other concerns. He was passive when I would try to speak up about anything chronic.
Where should I look for a provider?
I switched jobs and was finally able to have medical insurance. I was pretty excited because that meant I could finally seek care and not pay over-the-top expenses.
But I felt lost and unsure where to turn when searching for a primary care provider. I wanted a doctor that would listen to my list of concerns and actively work on finding a solution with me. Playing the eeny, meeny, miny, moe game through the list of providers that were in network was terrifying to me. At the time it hadn't dawned on me that if I didn't like one doctor, I could just try another one until I found the right fit.
Hiring or firing your doctor
You might get lucky and find a doctor that clicks with you on the first try. Or you may end up like me and have a doctor that doesn't want to listen to your concerns enough to look past all the normal labs in order to figure out what is going on within your body.
You do not have to stay with a doctor that does not help you. If your doctor is like the one I described above, you have the ability to fire them from your care. Request your records and move on to someone else.
Diagnosed with postpartum depression
As things got more serious with my partner I moved again. Once more, I had to find a new primary care physician. On a chance I took the suggestion of my husband's family member and sought out a new doctor. I was incredibly lucky that she met all my needs and more.
At this point I’d had my third child, and my mental state was just a mess. When the doctor asked me what brought me into her office I just began bawling. I felt like there was just so much happening. After a thorough talk about what was going on she diagnosed my postpartum depression, and we began the inevitable adventure of throwing darts at the medication dartboard in order to find something that would help me.
Tips on preparing for an appointment
While I got lucky on my first try, not everyone will. So be prepared to go into a doctor's office and treat it almost as if you're interviewing someone for the job of caring for you. Go into your visit with your list of concerns and see how they respond.
Remember that all of your thoughts/feelings/physical concerns are valid, and your doctor should treat them as such. If the doctor doesn’t meet your criteria, you find another candidate. There are plenty of doctors out there, so while it might take you a minute to find the best match, know that it is possible.
Finding the right doctor to treat pospartum depression
I know the search for the right fit in a physician can be daunting but don't let that stop you from seeking the help you need if you suspect or know that you've got postpartum depression.
Once you've found the right fit it could do wonders in making your life better. You deserve to feel validated and seek that balance that might be eluding you. You've got to remember that you are your best advocate. Only you know what is happening in your head, body, and life. So don't be afraid to communicate your needs. Take care of you so that you can take care of your family.